Adulting can be tough! Knowing you are growing up a bit more with each passing day is one of the perks of realization of the reality. Nothing is the same as before. Your sleeping time changes, you realize that nobody is more important than your peaceful, beloved, sweet sleep. Suddenly, you start feeling awkward asking your parents for money. You handle your own expenses and understand your responsibilities.
Everything changes and so does your dating game. You start feeling like you need to make more sound decisions and listen to your head instead of following your stupid heart who gets hit by ‘The Cupid’ almost every day and gets you in trouble.
But the problem is that not all of us attain this maturity at the same age. Some of us start understanding our responsibilities way too earlier and some of us are born to run wild. People don’t get in harmony until they match a certain frequency with someone.
You go out on a date and have a good time but don’t hear from a guy for many days and suddenly he wants to meet again and this cycle continues. Before you know it you are the center of this vicious circle. This dating cycle is often referred to as ” Being on the hook of someone “. In simple words, it means you are the best go-to alternative when they don’t have anybody else in their life.
We all take our own sweet time to come to terms with our disasters of dating life.
Freak not, here we have mentioned all tell-tales to know if you are on the hook of someone. Have a look-
1. You hear the phrase “not right now” way too often-
Whenever you both talk it is wonderful. You are totally into that person but they want nothing more than occasional chats and flirting. You talk about any future plans and they quite often use the term that they can’t promise anything “for now”. Well, this is your red signal and you must leave this stop to move forward with your life.
A TV show like “How I Met Your Mother” has a full-length episode based on the concept of “being on the hook of someone”. we have often seen people making pacts that If they are single by the time they are 40 they will get married.
2. They want to keep things a secret-
Another sign is that people want to keep things under cover. They don’t want people finding out that you are involved in their life in that kind of way. Neither their friends nor their family knows about you. The main reason they give for this kind of behaviors is that they don’t want to jinx it by telling people.
Well, you are a good person and deserve better things.
3. They need time to work things out-
This paints a picture of some magical future you guys can have but in reality, this is just not the case. They tell you that they are not in the right place right now and it will definitely work out in the future, but the truth is that never really happens.
4. Not too close, not too far-
You will feel like you are in a relationship but they will make it clear that they don’t want to be committed to anyone. But will talk and make you feel like you are just perfect for them.
5. The details are not very clean-
They use the terms ‘probably’, ‘let’s see’, ‘I’ll tell you later very often’. Things are not finalized up until the last moment.
Giving a ‘Yes’ for an answer is not their way of making plans with you.
6. Will tell you that you are too good for them-
Remember, nobody lets go of a gem of a person just like that. Whenever this phrase is used by someone to be away from you, the best way is to get away from them.
7. They text you only in two cases-
Either they need to feel better about themselves and want someone to tell them how good they are or they are just simply bored.
Either case you know which one it is.
8. They will cut off the ties with you when things get better with their ex-
But they won’t just shut you out altogether. They will still talk to you occasionally and make you understand that they need to give their relationship another chance but tell you that things would have been better if their ex didn’t come back into the picture.
9. They complain if you don’t pay attention-
The second you decide to take a step back they come closer to you and complain that you are behaving differently. You think they want you in their life but as soon as you give it another chance things are back to square one.
10. Half of your time is spent in explanation-
Your friends don’t approve for this person and try telling you are just a second option but you explain to them how things will get better in the future.
Half of your time goes in justifying their actions. But deep down you know the fate of this relationship.
11. Last minute cancellation-
You are all ready to leave or may be reached the location where you both plan to meet but they cancel on you the last minute. They have a good excuse to fool you. Even if you know they are lying you think it’s all just in your head.
12. They ghost out-
There are days when you just lose contact. You drop innumerable texts and sit staring at your phone but there is no word from them. They will re-enter in your life like nothing happened and you can’t question them because they haven’t made any commitment to you.
13. They don’t confront their feelings-
No matter how straight forward you are they find a way to avoid talking about their feelings. But, they make sure they don’t say anything hurtful and sugarcoat rejection so that you stay around just in case they need something from you.
14. They invite you with the group-
You only see them in a group. They never suggest one to one meeting.
15. There is no label-
You can’t say you are friends and you can’t say you are partners. There is no tag to your relationship.
16. They don’t appreciate your help-
You might go out of your way to help them but they fail to acknowledge your efforts. For them, you are the one person who will do anything for them and help them no matter what. They take you for granted.
17. It’s been too long to give up now-
When it all started it was like you are getting close and you thought they would realize your importance and commit to you but now it’s been too long maybe months, or a year but you are still holding onto that hope.
So if you are encountering any such behavior from your ‘hookie’ then we suggest take a step back and re-evaluate your choices. Did you find these tips useful? If yes, then let us know in the comment section below.